Wizards in Xanth
by Zidaj
Summary: Harry PotterXanth crossover. Harry and Voldemort are transported into a strange new fantasy land via a muggle videogame. Knowledge of Xanth is not needed to enjoy this story.


A/N: Before you begin reading a few things you should know. The first: this is a crossover between Harry Potter and Xanth. Second: Idea came to me by reading Centaur of Attention by Kenya Starlight, a truly marvelous and well crafted story, a few things may seem similar to the first and second chapter of her story, but after the first two chapters no more. It is hard to create a beginning for something like this. It will not run totally like that as I'm assuming she took hers from the game, and I have not played that, only read some of the books. Third: No knowledge of Xanth is needed to enjoy, all though it would explain a bit better and the books are amazing to read. Fourth: please read and review, enjoy. Fifth: The first two chapters will be quite long as I want to get them over with, they will probably become a little shorter after that. Sixth: It is rated T although may be close to M, if you think it is, let me know so I can change it. It is rated this for violence, references to storks, innuendos, strange puns, and Voldemort and Mentia being cruel, harsh, obnoxious, and ornery selves.

Summary: Harry Potter/Xanth crossover. Harry and Voldemort are transported into a strange new fantasy land via muggle videogame. Knowledge of Xanth is not needed to enjoy this story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Xanth, both belong to retrospective authors J.K. Rowling and Piers Anthony.

Wizards in Xanth

Chapter 1: Demoness Mentia

In a dimly lit hallway, three figures were walking to and fro. These three men were dressed in long pilfering dark robes, the faces concealed by a white math of death, and proudly displayed on their arms was the dark mark. One of the death eaters, a rather fat and short man appeared at the door, and ushered in the nervous looking death eater on the other side.

The death eater who entered had no name, he was not high enough in rank to be granted a rank, and definitely not deserving a name. The other death eater was also twittering nervously, but whether that was habit or true nervousness one could not tell. The other death eater was the fourth highest only being lower than death eaters Snape, Lestrange, and Malfoy. Malfoy had recently been lowered from second highest to fourth highest, and Snape was now his second in command, followed by Bellatrix Lestrange, who was followed by Wormtail. For Wormtail was the name of the other death eater.

After opening the door for the other death eater to come in, he went and stood by the door while death eater 37 walked to face the Dark Lord.

The Dark Lord was a tall snake-like man, whose sole purpose in life was to become immortal, wipe out the muggle and mud-blood filth, and become ruler of the wizarding world. Okay so it was not a soul purpose, but who could blame him? Power was the most addicting drug.

"Death eater thirty-seven, correct?" The Dark Lord hissed, the large snake on the floor seeming to look on in amusement.

"Yes sir." responded death eater 37.

'You were in charge of interrogating the spy. What did you find out?" he hissed menacingly.

"Not much my lord, he would not say anything, not even after extensive torture." Death eater 37 said nervously.

"Not much? Tell me what you did find out."

"We found out, that he was indeed a spy for the Order of the Phoenix, he we believe he was one of the highest members. He was taught good though, that was all he told us."

"What do you mean all? Is the spy dead?" The Dark Lord or Voldemort said angrily.

"Unfortunately, yes. He seemed to have a suicide capsule that we knew not of. We brought out the equipment he had on him, all there was, was the spy's wand, robes, the daily prophet, and a small muggle electronic device. He right before we began questioning about the electronic device."

"Curious is it not? That the wizards are now resorting to electronics to hide their information." This was Wormtail who spoke now.

"Indeed it is Wormtail. I trust you have had people try to decode it?" Voldemort asked death eater 37.

"Yes, unfortunately none of us have any idea what we are doing, we've never actually been near and never ever have used a device like that before. Therefore none of us have done anything good with information, you may as well give up." death eater 37 said beginning to become more nervous.

"Do you have the device with you? I-would like to see it." Wormtail said quickly, his eyes glinting something mad. Death eater 37 took out the small handheld electronic device and went to hand it to Wormtail who began twitching excitedly.

"There is no need Wormtail. I shall decode this device. Leave the electronic device here." Death eater 37 within only a few feet from Wormtail turned around and gave the device to the Dark Lord, Wormtail was looking furious, but for what reasons, no one knew.

"Here it is, my lord." Death eater 37 said carefully handing the device to Voldemort.

"Good. You may now leave." The Dark Lord waved his hands away signaling them to leave. Death eater 37 did so immediately, letting out his relief that he was still alive. Wormtail did not move however.

"Wormtail that includes you as well." Voldemort said to his reviver.

"B-but my lord. Surely you-" Wormtail was cut off by the torture curse from Voldemort.

"I said leave, unless you would like worse." Voldemort said, hand still on his wand.

"Yes. Of course, master." Wormtail said heading out the door.

Voldemort watched him leave, before turning his attention on the device in front of him.

"Now let us find out what secrets you hold." Voldemort said turning on the game. The screen flashed and a moment later, a small beep sounded and a picture began appearing. Voldemort almost blushed at the image of the strange creature on his screen.

"Hi! My name is Nandy Nymph and I will take you through the set up rules for the game. First are you a member of the Adult Conspiracy?" The totally bare and cheerful woman said on the screen, for a moment Voldemort thought that what he had in his hands was some sort of pornographic game, or something. He dismissed the notion at once, he could never see any Order member carrying a game of this type, unless it had secrets about the organization within.

Do you want to play Companions of Xanth? Yes or No.

Voldemort chose yes and the nymph reappeared. He noticed for only a second that she was indeed in the buff, before turning his attention to what he should, finding the Order's secrets.

"Wonderful! One question before deciding on how you will play the game. Do you plan on playing to its end?"

Voldemort blinked for a moment trying to comprehend the statement, he would have to play through the whole game to find the Order secrets. He hesitated before deciding, getting rid of the Order was his main objective. He clicked on the small keyboard Y, for yes.

"Great, now that that is out of the way, the game you are about to play is called Xanth. My name is Nandy Nymph, although there are other characters you can choose to be your companions at a later time. I'm here to take your hand and guide you through the preliminaries without confusion. If you have a question press the Q on the keyboard and then type in the question, I'll try to answer to the best of my ability."

A computer game, it seemed as if it was truly a blasted videogame, perhaps the Order of the Phoenix had created it just to send a message, they'd done stupider things in the past. Example being the chocolate frogs that used to sing profanities, but had a message in them. He had no doubt that they were created by Dumbledore and the werewolf Lupin. Apparently after one would eat the profanity frogs, they would automatically begin spouting a secret language, which Voldemort and his followers had still not been able to crack. They only knew of it because Fenrir's obsession for chocolate, most werewolves had the problem.

No he must play through the game. Quickly and carefully if possible, even though Dumbledore may be dead, it meant nothing, as he always prepared ahead of time. With some misgivings he pressed the Q key.

Voldemort watched in shock as a gigantic white finger appeared on screen and poked Nandy Nymph in the breast. Nandy giggled and pushed it away.

"Okay I assume you have a question. You can do this two ways, the first being typing in the question yourself so I can see it. The second way is by pressing the enter button on the keyboard and choosing from a list of questions that appear. They are the 12 most common for people at this stage. Then you can use the arrow, via mouse, to click on question and press enter. Or you can shortcut by pressing the number of the question. I will wait until you decide, or if you want to go ahead and resume without waiting then touch escape on the keyboard." Voldemort though for a moment tapping his long spider-like fingers, before making choosing.

Voldemort thought it would be easier to voice his own questions, but decided for curiosities sake he would take a quick glance at the list.

Nandy Nymph giggled before reaching down and pulling up a string which became a list of questions. This would be quite a sight to see, if it were anyone but Voldemort. Voldemort had never loved, nor been loved, and had certainly never lusted, although Bellatrix would often try to do such things with him, he never allowed it, he had dignity and honor in that department, besides it would be bad if his many enemies found out. He also thought Bellatrix was a slut. The questions appeared and he looked at them carefully.

1. How do I get out of this crazy game?

2. How can I shortcut to the action?

3. Who is that creature on the cover?

4. Can I get my money back if I quit now?

5. How do I get a better Companion?

6. How do I save my place so I can take a bathroom break and pick up where I left off?

7. What makes you think this game is so great?

8. Can a friend play too?

9. What's the prize for winning?

0. What are magic talents?

S. Can I change my magic talent?

A. How many printed questions are there, and can I call them up anytime?

Voldemort looked and decided to find out how many questions there were. He tapped the A key.

"There are hundreds of questions about the world Xanth, and there may be even more in the near future. You can call up o this page by pressing the little question mark at the top of the keyboard. For two digit numbers you can hold down the first number while tapping the second. But it is probably easier to just ask me."

Voldemort realized it probably was, but he was curious about a few of the questions, maybe the Order had hidden a link or something in one of them. He tapped the 1 key.

"To quit this game, touch alt-escape. But I hope you don't its been sometime since we've had a player, and we hardly even know you!"

Hardly even know you? This must be one of the artificial intelligence games he had heard muggles used to play. They were really rather bad and highly underdeveloped. Would Dumbledore have such a game? Probably, but probably not a game that could learn all about them. Or maybe he would. He typed 2.

"To shortcut directly to the action, touch SHIFT-ESCAPE. But I would highly recommend going against this as you still have so much more to do. Such as logging in, finishing profile, and choosing a companion, otherwise you'll be stuck with me. Next time you log in you can do this, but please don't on your first game."

Voldemort looked at the rest of the questions, the next to were irrelevant, as he was missing the box, and had not purchased it. 7 and 8 were almost laughable, as the programmer would not put a bad comment about their own game, and eight because he was a dark lord and had followers not friends. The last few made him curious however. He typed in 9.

"The prize for winning the game is different for each user, however in most cases it is quite rewarding, examples of prizes includes potions, plants, musical instruments, and other little trinkets full of magic. The rarest prizes sometimes include the changing of magic talents. Other times it includes valuable information."

This intrigued Voldemort, magic talents had been mentioned again. Valuable information also be the information on the Order of the Phoenix. Curiosity knowing no bounds he clicked on number 0.

"Ah. Magic Talents. Magic Talents are a new development to the players in Xanth, all people in Xanth have a magical talent and now you can too! Examples of magical talents include growing plants from seeds, producing clouds, being able to speak to a certain type of creature, making dots appear randomly, creating fire with hands, and some of the greatest include controlling the weather, creating life-like illusions, and transforming living creatures into different living creatures." Nandy said excitedly clapping her hands together.

Voldemort stopped to think about that for a moment. Transfiguring was not really all that great, but controlling the weather was certainly interesting. With Voldemort's power-hungry mind, it got him thinking. He was broke out of his thought when Nandy popped up and began speaking.

"You know, it may now be a good time to ask about companions." Nandy said quietly as if embarrassed.

Voldemort thought for a moment before typing in 'All Right. Tell me about companions'.

"I'm so glad you asked. Companions are one of the main things that separate this game from other games out there. As you know the game is called Companions of Xanth. In this game, although some would find it amusing if you did, you are never left to flounder helplessly, guessing at procedures. In this game you have a companion to guide you through the magical land of Xanth. Anything you need to know you can ask him(or her if selecting a female) if he(or she) does not know the answer , he'll give your responsive guesses, he/she will also warn you when your going wrong and in general be a true friend to you. You can trust your companion absolutely. Except for one thing. To find out about this one thing press enter or Y."

Voldemort almost guffawed at the friend part. He had never had a friend not in his many years of living, and did not plan to. However he was curious about the 'one thing' so he hit enter.

"This is a very good thing, you have decided. You see, ordinarily your friend is true as can be and will help you always, however, sometimes one will get a False companion. There are eight possible choices and one of the eight will be a False companion. A False companion will pretend to be your friend, but lead you into mischief and doom. You can never tell if a companion is False because they look and act the same as a normal companion, a False companion will only show him/herself at a key point in the game. If you are able to identify the False companion, you are not allowed to switch him/her for another. Once a companion is chosen you are stuck with them for the remainder of the game. You can ask your companion to go away, but then risk being eaten by a dragon, or suffer some worse fate. It is better to keep the False companion with you, but be wary, it is difficult, but not impossible to win the game with a False companion."

"Suppose I just quit the game and start over?"

"If you try to leave the game to get a new companion everything changes, the False companion and the whole layout of the game. Previous safe paths, may no longer be safe, and old friends may be new enemies. If you are well along in the game I'd recommend continuing. It is your choice though, of course."

Ah. A challenge. One filled with danger, risk, and lies. It was his type of game. The combination of the possible prizes, and the magic talents had enticed him well enough. Only an Order Member with the proper passwords or knowledge would be able to beat this game, they did not expect the Dark Lord to play though.

He quickly typed number five.

Nandy Nymph frowned slightly and made it look more like a pout. "I was hoping you would decide to stay with me, we would have had loads of fun. My talent is the ability to talk with land animals. I'm also very knowledgeable about Xanth and would be sure to have fun with." She smiled suddenly. "But maybe you still will choose me, but in any case here are the other seven companion choices.

This list contained seven names: Grundy Golem, Goody Goblin, Horace Centaur, Marrow Bones, Jenny Elf, Demoness Mentia, and Nada Naga. He selected the name Demoness Mentia more or less because of the word demon, and pressed Enter.

DEMONESS MENTIA, AGELESS VAPOROUS BEING CAPABLE OF ALTERING HER SHAPE. SEEMINGLY CRAZY AND MISCHIEVOUS, EVEN FOR A DEMON, PREFERS EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE HUMAN FORM OVER ALL OTHER FORMS. AGE UNKNOWN, EXTREMELY KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT XANTH, EXPERIENCED. ASSETS: ABILITY TO ASSUME MANY USEFUL FORMS. LIABILITIES: LACKS A SOUL. METRIA'S ALTER-EGO.

"Well let's give her a shot, she is a demon, she can't be too bad". He pressed Enter.

A sultry woman in a low cut scarlet dress stepped onto the screen. "Hi, Player. I'm the Demoness Mentia, your companion for your duration in Xanth. Nandy, you can leave now." Mentia paused while Nandy left and then turned face back to Voldemort. "What might your name be…?"

Voldemort scowled angrily, how was he going to get out of this? Maybe the Order did not expect him to get a hold of this, he typed in his name. LORD VOLDEMORT.

"Lord Voldemort? So you're a Lord? What are you Lord of?" The Demoness asked and when not receiving an answer huffed irritably. "Fine. Don't tell me."

"I won't." Voldemort said beginning to become amused, he could grow to like this demon, and not because of how she was dressed.

"Humph. Oh well I can manage, although I will be finding out what your Lord of one day. But who cares? Just refocus your eyes, okay? I'm tired of staring at a flat face. Those two dots at the top of the screen will become three when you've done it right."

Voldemort looked suspiciously at his companion before doing what she said. He focused his eyes on the two dots on top of the screen, letting his eyes drift out of focus. Immediately shapes on the screen became textured, formed, like a ghost-image or 3D instead of a 2D picture. Amazing what a combination of magic and technology could accomplish!

He looked up and saw that Mentia was now much more detailed, and almost real, he could definitely tell a difference in many things.

"Much better Voldemort. First before continuing and now that your eyes are adjusted I need you to suspend your disbelief in Xanth."

"WHAT?"

"Suspend your disbelief."

Voldemort stared at the demon as if she were crazy, which if programmed by Dumbledore probably would be. Sure this was realistic and all, but that was it, nothing more than a game, and Order secret holder. Dumbledore could not have made a whole new world, you would not have to believe in Xanth to get the secrets. Would you? He made up his mind.

"I can not do such at this time. Perhaps later?"

Mentia looked slightly put out, but nodded all the same. "Sure, later. We can still play the game, but since you won't suspend your disbelief, I suppose heading towards the Good Magicians Castle would be best."

"The Good Magician?" Voldemort asked albeit a bit worriedly. What if the good magician was Dumbledore in this game? Would he try to kill him?

"Oh, right. You don't know. The good magician answers all questions for a charge of a years service. I believe Player characters would be exempt from that however."

"Very well. Let's go to the castle."

"Right. Follow me please Lord Voldemort." Mentia said sarcastically and Voldemort did so.

They stopped a short distance later, at the edge of three crossways. Only one of them had a name. 'Gap Chasm'.

"What's the Gap Chasm?" Voldemort asked.

"It's a large chasm, filled with a gap, nicklepides and sometimes worse creatures live down below. The easiest way across the Gap Chasm is finding an invisible bridge."

"If the bridge is invisible, how do you find it?"

"Well normally for player characters, there is a challenge you must face. It should noticed any time now."

Sure enough, there ahead of them off to the side was what Voldemort assumed to be his first challenge. A bird was in the air and flying to and fro, with a great "Hoo-Pah!"

"Oh it's a Hoo-Pah bird."

"Is this bad?" Voldemort asked.

"Bad? Not necessarily bad, but if it decides it wants to it will pick you up and carry you off to its nest, they are collectors, and annoying ones too."

"Very well. Perhaps you have something you could trade it?"

"Me? No way! This is your challenge whatever you do it will have to be on your own power, I will help you where I can though."

"That's adequate. Let's go have a visit with the bird." Voldemort said and Mentia begrudgingly walked over to the large bird who was currently carry part of one of the bridges across the Gap Chasm.

A/N: How is it? There is some stuff similar to Kenya Starflight's Centaur of Attention(great story), but after the next two it will not have any more similar ideas to hers. counts as swear words, although only the bad ones. Harry will come next chapter, and I hope people enjoyed this. Please read and review.

Also I may continue Silver Sin or Evil's Release again soon, most likely silver sin, unless people would rather have the other, but this will be the most frequently updated.


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